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3 Important Money Discussions To Have Before You Get Married

Before tying the knot, it’s important for you and your partner to sit down and have a sincere heart-to-heart about money. Premarital financial planning may seem uncomfortable, but by being frank from the very beginning of your marriage, you’ll learn a lot, which can be a huge stress-reliever in the long run. It doesn’t have to be an intimidating meeting sitting across a desk from one another; instead, make premarital financial planning fun by grabbing coffee or better yet, by ordering in some food and delving even deeper into your relationship. Who says that isn’t romantic? Read on to find out the three financial topics you and your fiancé/e should cover to establish good communication and build a solid foundation before the wedding.

Before proceeding to the important money discussions prior to getting married, let’s first look into the importance of premarital financial planning. Listed below are the reasons that will encourage you to take a break from the wedding preparations for you to be able to focus on a subject that will have a huge impact on your future as a couple.

  • Set your vision for the future. One of the main reasons to have a premarital financial planning is to ensure that couples will be working towards a certain goal, as well as to address financial priorities that can lead couples to separate directions.
  • Determine your budget. Financial difficulties usually arise when one fails to look into the budget that they should be working on. Couples should agree on a certain amount that will allow them to smoothly handle their finances and reduce the chances of getting into arguments while running the household.
  • Look into possible inheritances. Before creating your future as a couple, you should also tackle potential inheritances that may pose complications eventually. While lack of money can cause problems, financial issues can also arise from great wealth this is why it is important to look into the distribution of potential inheritances before marriage.
  • Express your thoughts on investing. Face it, there are people who are open about investing while some are scared to try it. You need to be on the same page when it comes to investment and discuss whether it is your viable option to move forward.
  • Evaluate your present assets and liabilities. Remember that once you get married, your balance sheets are also combined. You have to know the status of your partner as this will have an impact on your future. People with substantial amount of wealth, while in the case of poor standings, you have to voice out your concern especially in protecting the assets that you have diligently worked on.

Now that you already know the importance of premarital financial planning, you are now ready to know the money discussions that are sure to have a significant impact on your relationship.

Premarital Financial Planning

1. Talk about your past before starting your future

In your first financial conversation with your fiancé/e, you both need to lay all your cards on the table. Be open and honest about any debts you currently have, and any debt history that may have affected your credit score. Talk about secured debt like car payments or real estate, as well as unsecured debts like student loans and credit cards.

  • What are the monthly payments and interest rates associated with each one?
  • How long until the debt is paid in full?

Be sure to ask these questions, and also answer them for yourself. That way, you won’t have any surprises down the road.

Once you’ve established how much debt you each carry, you and your partner will want to get an idea of each other’s current finances. If you haven’t already, tell each other how much you currently earn (don’t forget about bonuses) and how much of that you save, invest and donate. Then, compare your monthly bills and any other financial obligations to gain a holistic view of your income and expenses.

Action item: Check your credit scores together to take the first step in understanding your joint financial future. Try www.creditkarma.com for a free credit score with no hidden fees.

 

2. Open up about your attitudes toward money

Now that you understand how much you each have, next you’ll want to discuss how you each feel about money. Here are some ideas of questions to ask.

  • What do you consider disposable income: Clothes? Gadgets? Travel? It’s ok if you don’t agree on everything, at this point you just want to learn more about each other’s perspectives.
  • How do you each feel about combining bank accounts? Would you rather keep them separate? Who will be in charge of paying the bills?
  • How comfortable are you with risk? What types of saving and investing would you like to do?
  • Do either of you feel the need for a pre-nup?

Some of these questions may seem tough, but asking them early on will be a huge benefit in your relationship. Rather than assuming what the other is thinking, you’ll instead encourage an open dialogue. Premarital financial planning is great not just for finances, but for every aspect of your life together.

Action item: Use this simple budget worksheet from the FTC to create a joint monthly budget together.

 

3. Map out your future financial goals

You know you want to share your life together, but what does that look like to each of you? By verbalizing both short-term and long-term goals, you and your partner can help each other prioritize and work towards achieving them.

  • What are your career goals? How can you support each other in turning those plans into a reality?
  • Do you plan on having kids? Start to talk about your childcare options early on to avoid any unrealistic expectations further down the road.
  • Finally, how do each of you feel about home ownership? Talk about where you’d like to live geographically, as well as what type of home you prefer (single family home, townhouse or condo). Do you know what your monthly mortgage payments should look like? It’s never too early to start thinking about your dream home together.

Action item: Talk to a Carlyle Financial mortgage banker to assess your finances and find the perfect home at the right price.

What other financial questions do you think you should ask your fiancé/e before getting married? Let us know in the comments section.

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Email Jesse

Jesse Collins

VP of Mortgage Lending

In the last thirteen years, Jesse has managed more than $400 million in residential financing. His extensive experience with complex financials and funding provides Carlyle Financial clients with agile customized jumbo home loan products. Jesse specializes in residential lending for the Los Angeles, Beverly Hills, Orange County, and San Diego markets. With each loan he closes he makes a donation on behalf of his clients to the ALS Association.

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  • Originated: $400mil+
  • Experience: 13 years
  • Expertise: Jumbo Mortgages, Portfolio Lending, Super Jumbo Mortgages, Investment Property
  • Markets: Los Angeles, San Diego
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